Marriage and Us
Are you recently engaged, newlyweds, or married for years and looking to learn even more about the art of marriage? Hosts Rob and Robin Atkins discuss what they've learned with honesty, humor, and gospel mindedness. In 34 years of marriage and 10 years as pre and post marriage coaches they practice what they teach. A podcast designed for couples with old tools or no tools wanting to maximize their life together with simple principles that can transform your marriage.
Marriage and Us
S3E08 The Marriage Journey: Laughter, Love and Lessons
Join Robin and Robin as they sit down with their friends, Jason and Lindsey, for a hilarious and heartwarming chat about their journey together! From their first meeting to the ups and downs of marriage, we dive into their love story, sharing laughs and insights along the way. Tune in for a blend of humor and heartfelt moments that celebrate the beautiful tapestry of partnership!
Music by - Roger Jaeger - from the album (Fall Off the Earth)
Produced by - Jared Nester
Outro by - Madison Nester
I'm Rob. And I'm Robin. Thanks for listening to Marriage and Us.
SPEAKER_04:Each week we will talk about real life topics that couples experience in everyday married life.
SPEAKER_03:So let's get to today's episode. Hello, everybody.
SPEAKER_04:Hi, guys.
SPEAKER_03:Welcome back in.
SPEAKER_04:Good to see you. I don't know. I guess we can't see anything.
SPEAKER_03:No, I can see you.
SPEAKER_04:And I can see you. So but I'll visualize all our friends out there.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. It's good to be back.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it is.
SPEAKER_03:It's been a little while since we've done an episode.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, too long.
SPEAKER_03:Life.
SPEAKER_04:It's been a busy summer. It's been happening.
SPEAKER_03:It has been. Yeah. Like going on.
SPEAKER_04:Good things. It is. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I I know we talked the last time you had recently retired from the hospital. I think that was one of the last episodes we did.
SPEAKER_04:Wow. Yeah, that was back in June. Yeah. Yeah. So it has been a little bit.
SPEAKER_03:Growing your okra, tomatoes, yeah, working on the garden. Working on the garden. And you've been working out too. That's something you've just started there. Yeah. The guns. I'm flexing right now. I wish y'all could see that. That would be great. There are some gun shows going on here. So but yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Maybe one day.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. We'll take a picture of that.
SPEAKER_04:Um, no, let's don't.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. All right. I just thought I'd throw that out there. Um we so when we decided, like, hey, it's time to do another episode, we said, well, why do we want to do it by ourselves? Why not have two of our most favorite peoples? Peoples? Yes. That's what the kids say. Two of our most favorite people in the whole wide world come and talk about life, talk about marriage. Yeah, I'm I'm who knows what else? Yes. Here's what I'm trying to say. The outtakes of what we cannot put on the air right now have been so hilarious. But I wish you were here in the room with us. It has been very funny. But we are so glad to have our some of our literally our bestest friends in the whole world. Everybody knows Jason. Jason.
SPEAKER_01:Hey there. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So, Jason, if you listen to uh my podcast, the uh just everyday guys, Jason's been on there multiple times. He's the OG.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, that's it. Yes, I must have done something right.
SPEAKER_03:Oh man, I love it. It's been so good. And but making her first appearance, yes, we're so excited to have his wife, Lindsay. Lindsay, say hello.
SPEAKER_05:Hello, everybody.
SPEAKER_03:See, doesn't she sound great? She's amazing. I know. I mean, it's a natural, it's amazing. That's all she she may that may be all she says the rest of the night. She's gonna say more. She is that is pretty dang good. That was really, really good. Good start. Good start. So tonight we're just gonna uh kind of what we typically do. You you guys, I know Jason's already said, but you know, before we do that, because we do have people that'd be listening to us that don't listen to the other podcasts, so just tell a little bit about yourself and uh one of our favorite questions. I know Lindsay's gonna share this story, is uh you know, how you guys first met and first dates and all that kind of stuff. So fill us in a little bit about who you are and your life and all that kind of good stuff.
SPEAKER_02:So we're we're um yeah, we're excited. Thanks for having us.
SPEAKER_01:You're welcome. Thank you so much. We're excited. We're excited.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it's been great, wonderful dinner. Um, but we're excited to to be here, be a part of um this the story called life, right? Yeah, so here was my beautiful bride. Uh, we've been married 24 years as of September 29th.
SPEAKER_01:Congratulations.
SPEAKER_02:This uh yeah, 24. I'm still making plans for 25. Like, what do you do for 25? So I'm excited. That's a new adventure. Looking forward to that. But um, we're happily married. Yes. Um, it's not easy, but it's the best decision I've ever made in my life.
SPEAKER_05:Amen.
SPEAKER_02:And we have five amazing children. Yes, you do, and they keep getting older. I know, and growing and eating us out of house and home. And so our oldest.
SPEAKER_03:Your oldest one is how how tall? Lindsay, how tall is your oldest one right now? What six, what?
SPEAKER_05:Well, wait, our oldest daughter. No, oldest son. He's six five. Six five. Yeah.
unknown:Wow.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, when the one right below him is six four. Wow. And then King just passed me up.
SPEAKER_01:They're just growing. It's crazy. Wow. It's crazy.
SPEAKER_05:And then your oldest is Aiden. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Aiden. She just and she's about to turn 21. 21. Yeah, in November. Well, here in a few weeks, actually.
SPEAKER_02:Time flies. And then our youngest daughter, Avery, she's 11. Yes. Just precious Jim. She has my heart. And uh, yeah, so we're excited to to share. Um, yeah, and be a part of sharing our story and talking about the things um that are meaningful to us, as well as maybe talk about some hard things that we still to this day in 24 years of amazing marriage and um with lots of highs and some lows, yeah, and yeah, some in-betweens. And uh yeah, so okay, Lindsay.
SPEAKER_03:So Jason's built it up. So tell me, so how how did y'all first first meet? I know now you're a Texas girl too, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought. So I just wanted to clarify because that's that that's a big deal. You just don't say that lightly.
SPEAKER_05:We're in Texas, uh, right by the airport, in between Dallas and Fort Worth. Okay. Town called Bedford.
SPEAKER_01:Right by the airport.
SPEAKER_05:I'm sorry, that just dropped me funny. We live right by the airport. More people know where the airport is. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I think when you live by the airport that it's very loud. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_05:Was it yeah? Oh, I don't know. I guess I got used to it. How about you? Yeah, because we grew up a mile from each other. What? Which is crazy. And we didn't never know each other. I didn't know them.
SPEAKER_02:Never did. I was homeschooled, she went to high school, and we decided to meet in Toronto, Canada.
SPEAKER_03:What? What? How Tex what? Yeah, Texas to Canada? Yeah. Okay, so how did that happen?
SPEAKER_05:Oh goodness. Let's see. I had just started visiting a church that he helped start. And by my second visit, I think I felt like the Lord said to go on this trip that I heard them announce was which was up to Toronto.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_05:I knew one other person at that church. And so because I was so late signing up and I was, you know, 20, I just went by myself. I was like, I'll just meet you guys up there. Okay. Because plane tickets were already bought, all the things were already done. So flew up there, connected with the church, and still had never talked to you. No. Um, and then by the last night, he had come over and introduced himself. Am I missing anything? No, you're doing great. And we were in the hotel lobby talking till 4 a.m. that morning.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Wow. Just and that's when we found out that we lived like you live where?
SPEAKER_05:Right. Yeah, literally one.
SPEAKER_03:By the airport. I just want to clarify. Of course.
SPEAKER_02:It's important. It's a big airport. Right. I've been through there. It's hard to miss.
SPEAKER_04:Um, but so then you freak out because you're like a mile and a half from each other.
SPEAKER_02:And then growing up, talking about youth groups. Like we were we we talked about some of the lock-ins that we did.
SPEAKER_05:That we were probably at.
SPEAKER_02:That we were probably at no way. Never knew, never met. Um I guess I missed a piece of the story. What's that? Yeah, what's that?
SPEAKER_05:So that would have been in what April? Yes. Probably of of 2020. Whoa. Wow. So, but in January, I went to a drum circle hosted by his church in a place called Deepellum.
SPEAKER_03:What what wait man? What's a drum circle? What is a drum circle?
SPEAKER_04:Robin, do you know? Uh, I'm getting do you play like right hand on one drum and left hand on the other drum?
SPEAKER_02:Epic. No.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, I'm just taking a shot in the door.
SPEAKER_02:Okay, go. So it's we just had a bunch of percussional instruments like chembees and tembales and various different instruments.
SPEAKER_05:And it was on top of a bar that we did?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it was on yeah, I was at a club in D. Vellum, which is an area in Dallas where there's lots of clubs and various different things. And we were playing music and just worshipping Jesus.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, okay. I was just trying to clarify with that was part of church, or if like when you steered off a path and now you're on top of the city. It wasn't like the church's ministry to go and do this right.
SPEAKER_01:Right. No.
SPEAKER_05:Okay, a good clarification.
SPEAKER_06:I'm following. Okay, I'm with you. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:But I ended up going with that one friend that I knew and saw Jason there. And I remember saying to that friend, I was like, Man, who's that? And he goes, Oh, that's Jason, but he's taken. Oh. I remember thinking, man, why are all the good ones taken? So fast forward. Yeah. That that night when we stayed up in the hotel lobby talking till four, like the Lord just deposited something in my heart for Jason. And so I had a twinkle because at one point Jason looked at me, he's like, this twinkle in your eye. I remember thinking, yeah, that's for you. You said that? You had I did.
SPEAKER_03:That's a smooth line. Wow. You like that? Yeah. I was thinking, if you're single out there, you have permission to use that. Yeah. If you have a twinkle.
SPEAKER_05:The twinkle, yeah. I remember thinking, yeah, that's for you. Maybe figure this out.
SPEAKER_02:I know. So yeah, so we then we've came back home and you know, I had I just come through uh a very challenging relationship, really the only relationship I was ever in, and um just dating relationship. Um and it wasn't long season in it, but I just um yeah, I got a massive encounter with the Lord when I was up in Toronto. And when we came back, um we started hanging out and um uh going to Wendy's drive-thru and sitting, having frosties. There were high rollers, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:It's the only way to eat all right, it's the best.
SPEAKER_02:And I I I just things were we just loved hanging out, being together, and not really defining it, just enjoying each other's company. And I realized I needed to to take a that was moving pretty fast, and I didn't want to mislead her. And so I asked her, I'm just it's like yesterday standing out in my parents' driveway telling her, hey, I I need to I need to pause this, whatever this is, however will you wait for me?
SPEAKER_03:And that was that was um I can I can remember going to And why why I mean was it because obviously the connection through church and God, was it uh something because you knew where it could be and you were uh asking yourself questions about what how what what yeah, what is that?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think it was more so the dust of the previous relationship that I had not yeah, I can remember. I I needed to to get some things um physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, just realigned because when I got into that relationship, um at first one I really ever had, and then we're talking 18 years old, because I was just life was full and busy and doing things, and I didn't really start dating till later. But um yeah, I got into the relationship and it was more about me trying to be the savior for her. And there were a lot of things that I gave in that relationship. Um that I I needed to spit just take a step back and realize that you know, this is obviously what's happening between at the time was this amazing person that I'm you know experiencing life with, Lindsay. Um I I've I felt it really holy and sacred, and I just didn't want to mess it up and try to get some things right.
SPEAKER_03:How for you obviously the twinkle in your eye, let's go back to that.
SPEAKER_05:D did you uh kind of know what it sounds like pretty quick that Yeah, I guess I did because even when he was saying, like, hey, I need to I need to pause, I just was fine to still be present, but not have any expectations and just yeah, whatever whatever he needed. I I didn't feel like a threat to me.
SPEAKER_02:It just felt like a genuine like he just needs time and there was no qu qu on for me as I'm stumbling over my words, as I'm reflecting backwards.
SPEAKER_03:Well, you just looked at Lindsay's, that happened. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:The like in saying that, those words literally I saw them coming out of my mouth as I was saying this, knowing that not knowing what she would say, sure, hoping that she would say sh yes. However, there was no measure of time that, like, hey, I need to do these five steps, or I'll see you in a year, or see you in it was like a pause and and not knowing it was yeah, it was it was really scary. Um, but I'm glad I did it because I needed to get some things um between me and the Lord. We had to to to walk some things out.
SPEAKER_03:Wouldn't you say though, it's interesting that we're kind of headed down this path. I've been listening to several podcasts and obviously, you know, praying and you know, Robin and I talk about marriage all the time, but you know, it it really is what I hear you saying, it was that was a building block of trust. You know, you may not have recognized it in the moment, but your ability to be vulnerable in that moment and be able to take that step back and say, you know, there's some things in my own life that I that I need to work on because I do recognize that, you know, obviously we're all believers that we believe, you know, you were saying, I believe God is in this relationship, but I also want to be aware of where I'm at. We see that a lot. We've talked about that, you and I have talked about this before. We see that sometimes with couples, you know, if because if you've come out of a serious relationship and you're not at a place like you said, mentally, spiritually healed, you know, if you the person you're interested in does something, it can trigger that past relationship to where it's like, oh, I've got some unresolved issues I didn't know. And they're triggering them because they remind me of that. So that ability to step back.
SPEAKER_04:I know it's so important is I like the way you described it, Jason, because you said the dust of this past relate, you know, relationship. And I was like, oh, I really love that because there's a residual piece, you know, in in past relationships that like what you're saying, Rob, if you're not careful and you haven't done the work to be sure that all of that is um what's the word I want to use? That it's resolved. Resolved, thank you. Yeah, that it's resolved, yeah. Then then the person then Lindsay could have been it could she could have gone through some things that she didn't need to that would have nothing to do with her. That would be something like Jason, yeah, from your past relationship. So I just love, yeah, I love that. And um, I think it's so important, you know. And I just think about the value in that moment that you saw in her that you thought, no, I'm not going to carry any of that with me. I want this to be pure, I want this to be real, and and I want to, I want to work on myself because she's she's worth it.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Well, that's a big word. That's a big word. I want to want you both to kind of keep top of that. I mean, you've heard me say this countless time, you know, marriage is the best hard work you'll ever do.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I think a lot of young couples are missing that to understand, yes, there's fairy tale moments. You know, obviously, we we love being married to these beautiful women, and that's great. But life happens, and what are you going to do when it hits you in the face? It's moments like that, you know, because I I heard this the other day, you know, so it I was like I said, I was listening. So it's like trust, vulnerability, trust, vulnerability. It just keeps building on top of itself. And most of the time we're looking for these big moments to define us, define us, but it's actually the small moments, you know, because we we're really big, and I know you guys are as well too you, you know, when you lose the ability to tell your spouse thank you or be grateful or thank you for what you do for our family, those small moments of gratitude that seem small are actually build the building blocks.
SPEAKER_04:They're building blocks, right?
SPEAKER_03:So when the tough times come, yeah, you can look back on those. So for you, when when he told you that, you know, kind of turn back the dial in your in your mind there, there's obviously you had a piece about that.
SPEAKER_05:I had a piece, and also there was sadness because I had a lot of fun with him, and I didn't really know if that meant we weren't hanging out anymore or what that really meant. But I had such a yeah, just a foundation to just lean into the Lord. Cause in the end, I'd always been praying that the Lord would find my husband for me.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, I love it. And so what a thought. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So so when did so we have that mind when did the shift happen from that moment to like, hey.
SPEAKER_05:I put on a bathing suit and then Yeah, you did.
SPEAKER_03:Texas heat, baby. Look out, mama. Yeah, uh when well that's so good.
SPEAKER_02:I what yeah. I'm sure no, you've got a email, and that's okay. That's okay. So enjoy and stay there for a moment if you need to. I think I think that um it didn't take long. It didn't, which was surprising. And I I think But it you think it would have if you hadn't been brave enough to have be vulnerable and say I need to step back. Yeah, I think that's part of it, but also I would say yes, as well as I would also say there's not a formula to relationships.
SPEAKER_04:Right. Sure. That's so true. Right?
SPEAKER_02:And so, like, I knew I had stuff, and I I I have to deal with my stuff, but also too, there's an element of like getting that right for myself, that deposit that you were referencing, you guys were referencing, it creates space for Jesus to be in the middle of what we're hoping as we're on this adventure together and pursuing each other in a relationship that the world defines as a dating relationship. It set our trajectory, and even now, as I'm thinking through, even our date nights and things that we talked about and the time that we spent together and the things that we did were beautiful, and they still deposit into today. And that's that's amazing. And and we I didn't for me, I'd done a lot of things wrong up to that point because I thought I knew what I wanted, or I thought I knew how to do it, even though I had zero experience in it. Sure. Maybe that's the male thing, right? That you've or maybe you've read a book or seen something or seen things, you know. I tend to, you know, and paying attention to things that are going on around me too, and see things to avoid by my friends and the experiences they had. Sure. Right. From that. But uh, yeah, it was yeah, very quickly. Um we were I I came back around and I said, Okay, um, timeout is over. Um let's let's I I missed not being able to spend time with you. Yeah. And uh so that was the start of our our dating relationship. And we went to where did we go? Up to Oklahoma.
SPEAKER_05:What now?
SPEAKER_02:Was that Turner Falls? Was that our first kind of when we rode in the truck together?
SPEAKER_05:Well, hang on, I want to tell this one photo story. Yeah, so when he when he said, Okay, I I I want to stop pausing. Right. I left town. Okay.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, that's right. Okay, thank you. This is great. Oh, now this is good. Teamwork makes the dream more work. Yeah, you you do this with this. We'll see you later. Share this.
SPEAKER_05:I did add signed up to be a photographer for which I don't take pictures, by the way, for a youth camp. But a lot of my friends are gonna be there, and so I was like, Can't is there anything I can do? I just want to come hang out. And so they're like, Yeah, take pictures. So I signed up and it happened to be that day. And he's like, Well, I've I've called your parents, I'm gonna talk to your parents to see if I can date you. I was like, nice, okay. Wow, old school.
SPEAKER_04:Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_05:And so I was up in, I drove to Oklahoma, had the first night, it went late, still hadn't heard from Jason. I think he was going over at seven o'clock to meet my parents.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Oh, so that still happened, even though her she wasn't gonna be guys.
SPEAKER_04:Right, that's what she's saying. She went to camp to take photos. He went to her parents to say, Hey, can we date? That's boldness right there, buddy.
SPEAKER_05:So my girlfriends knew he was going to talk to my parents, and they're like, Anything? Have you heard? Have you heard? I was like, uh, no. So by 11, I'm like, We had cell phones then. We're not that old.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I mean it's 2000. Yeah.
SPEAKER_05:I was by 11 p.m., I was like, well, maybe my parents kicked him out. I don't know. I don't know what's happened. By midnight, he called. He's like, Well, I just left your parents' house. I was like, Midnight. Oh dear lord. What did y'all talk about? He's like, Everything. I was like, that's great.
SPEAKER_02:And it's it's true. I told them, including the past relationship I had just gotten out of.
SPEAKER_05:Wow. So my parents' response was we love him. If for some reason this doesn't work out, can we adopt him?
SPEAKER_01:I love it.
SPEAKER_05:It's like, thanks, mom.
SPEAKER_03:And that's after you saw your baby pictures.
SPEAKER_05:That was probably after, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So he called and said, It's official, we're dating. And I was out of town for like another three or four days. Yeah. So then we did come back, I came back in town and we did drive to Turner Turner Falls.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it was like a you, I mean a church event thing, young adults thing. Oh, right. That's right.
SPEAKER_03:So at this point, Fall Creek Falls, baby. Are you like you know now? Do you feel? Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, that's another fun story. Okay, okay, yeah, tell us. It wasn't that I didn't know, but I had never really dated. I had like trial dates. Sure. And I was like, nah, you feel like a brother. I'm not doing that. Yeah. Um, so about a month in, and we saw each other all the time, thankfully. I was at Starbucks and he came in and sat down and he was like, Okay, so when we get married, and I was like, Whoa, whoa, bro, like I really like you, but I need time to let you into my heart. How old are you? With the Beyonce song, put a ring on it, right?
SPEAKER_02:I was trying to make a look.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, he was like, Yeah, ready. I was 20. Okay, five. One, twenty-one, yep. And so, and he did, and we still dated, had a great time, but there wasn't the like continual talk of marriage, marriage, marriage, which wouldn't be bad, but I just knew like I'm just getting to know you, I need time to let you into my heart. And then about five months after that, it was like, Oh, I love you. So we did the whole said I love you, and then you waited another five months, and I was like, Dear Lord, I said I love you.
SPEAKER_02:I said I'm ready. It's the big ring I was saving up for. Yeah. Interesting enough, here here's what a date night, typical date night was for us. We would go to um the this the stallion, the water, water feature in by the airport. Yeah, thank you. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_05:The Mustangs in Las Galinas.
SPEAKER_02:We would go to a fast food place and get some food and go, and they have there's these sculptures and there's m stones and water feature and everything. And we would sit for hours and talk about Jesus and talk about healing and talk about why did Peter's shadow heal people and it was crazy. I mean, that was super romantic.
SPEAKER_03:Was that new for you based on the previous? I mean, to be Oh, a thousand percent. To be it so much centered around Jesus. How about you?
SPEAKER_04:I mean, obviously you well, she said she had been trial dating, but this was her first, like, you know.
SPEAKER_03:So to a point, I mean, you you understand how I'm about to say you just didn't know any better. This is right, this must be how relationships are. Right.
SPEAKER_05:You you talk about things that are important to your heart and your I had I had also had seen friends do relationships and uh was loving what art of relationship was.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. We didn't really like it was just we loved being together, be together and talk about Jesus. Talked about yeah, a thing. Jesus, yeah. Drink coffee.
SPEAKER_05:That was pretty much yeah, good.
SPEAKER_02:It was it was it was an a what little do we know how again setting the trajectory of and look, I'm not saying this is okay, to make it 24 years or 50 years or 100 years, right? This is the formula on how to do it, right? However, when you're understanding the importance of marriage is as much about a commitment to somebody for life, it's about friendship. And what do friends do? They spend time together, they talk about the easy things and the hard things, and they do life together. And yeah, that was that was important for us.
SPEAKER_03:That's so so okay. So I love that. I mean, I can't believe we've known y'all that long. We didn't know that can be a story. It's a great story. I love it. It's a great story. So there's the young Jason and the young Lindsay. Yes. Twinkled in their eye, living by the airport. Going what so here we are now, 24 years later. What has been what I I I know I kind of know you guys well on this, but when we're we're thinking about the word trust, and we've touched on that a little bit, and vulnerability, what has been some of the things that have helped build that trust and that vulnerability through the good, the bad, the ugly, everything in between? What's what's some what's some of the things that you're able to look back now over the 24 years and say, man, that was a tough moment, but obviously Jesus being in the center, you know, and what have you what have you learned from that? So let me ask you this, Lindsay. I'll say it this way. Okay. The Lindsay now, we'll say the lint and the Lindsay five years ago.
SPEAKER_05:COVID Lindsay? Cool. Let's talk about COVID Lindsay.
SPEAKER_03:When you're able to look back at your life and say, man, I really have grown in this area, or I've I've worked on myself. What is something you've noticed? One is a as a wife and as a mother, what what have you seen in yourself over the last four or five years that you're going, man, I I I've I've done that. I've I've worked through that, or I've what's what's that look like?
SPEAKER_05:I think the thing that comes to mind is learning to have the brave conversations, the hard conversations you really don't want to have. It's funny though, I've always done that with Jason, but there's others that just like you know, other people I'm like, well, I don't want to, you know. But uh actually I was having this conversation the other day. I'm like, it's so funny because with Jason, I don't feel this need to like, oh, I don't want to offend or hurt him. It's like I live with him every day. Yeah, he has to know everything. If I'm happy, sad, frustrated, if it's him I'm frustrated at, I need to talk through it or else it will not be fun to be together. Right. But even for Lindsay five years ago and now is that's across the board. Like I just see the value of for relationships to work well. You have to be willing to be vulnerable and ha say things that might be hard.
SPEAKER_03:So what what I hear you saying is is that something you feel you've you've developed?
SPEAKER_05:I have definitely developed.
SPEAKER_03:And would that come from when those tough times have happened. Well, I mean, you know, again, hearing you say that that, you know, that brave communication, again, talking about trust, talking about vulnerability, knowing that that's built up.
SPEAKER_05:I mean, having twenty-four years, but going back to you know it's so interesting that we chose to start at the beginning, hearing your story to where you are now, you know, he's uh uh proven maybe that maybe that's alright he's kind of proven himself through the hard and the he's always proven himself as far as even he'll bring up conversations, always willing to have the conversation be present, even if we need to just take a pause and just like take a breath. And he's just very affirming of like I know this isn't easy but we need to talk about this. And just gives me such a safe place to do that.
SPEAKER_03:As a woman I you know because I know you guys do it as well too. I know you talk to other couples and things of that nature. I mean we hear that a lot from women when you feel like you're in a relationship when your husband gives you that that space and that safe place where you can share like you said brave communication.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah you know that's that's a big right ladies right oh it's huge yeah yeah I mean it's it's everything because if you don't have that what do you have? A fake relationship. Right. You're not being honest. There's no genuine anything. Right. You know um what I love when we've been married got a few on you 35. 35 I know 35 this year and back in August. And honestly that's that's my number one like as far as like the value it's it's it's everything to be able to know I can go to him and have a conversation no matter how hard it is um knowing that it's a safe place. Right. That it may not be an easy place. Right but it is going to be a safe place because yeah there are times I mean I'm sure all four of us can relate to where it's like you're just doing life and everything feels so great. And it's like someone just comes and knocks your legs out from under you, side swipes you with something that it's just seems like what just happened and and because in our marriage and I hear you guys saying the same thing because we have that safety built between us even when it is so freaking hard we can get back up and even look at each other and go, I don't know how this is going to work. I mean I have no clue but we've got each other and somehow somehow it's like got got all got a work it out you know and and I think that's when you really know like man our marriage has a strong foundation when we can still turn to each other instead of turn away from each other. Right.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah it's never a tag mode you know that I've heard y'all heard y'all say that. I mean brave communication you can say things but the the purpose is Robert and I talk about this all the time with couples. You know your productive conflict means we sit we see arguments as an opportunity to learn something about her that I did not know before.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:And that's not always an easy conversation but I think about you know I really go back it's your story is so great because I think about what Jason said from from the jump I mean you guys you set I mean I know you can look back and see that now but in the moment you didn't know that you were creating these that moment of trust with each other by saying this is where I'm at this is what I need in this moment for me to be able to give what I need to you right and so many couples we see don't have not developed that skill right of being open and honest. Again not hurtful that's not what we're trying to say but honest communication can hurt but we don't want to be hurtful.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah which I would yeah I echo all of that and I think you know it's important that it it gets even if you establish it it gets tested no doubt and yeah and just just even thinking about people that are listening out there too as well here we are 35 years of marriage and 24 years of marriage and you might be at year one right or you might be at year 50 and still looking across the room and and don't know. But I think it's important that the enemy would love to say that you can't or can't have that commitment to communication and have safety and have or maybe you're married for the fifth time or whatever whatever the past or whatever you see in front of you. What's interesting enough is is is because in it using my words here big words um when it gets tested it it is something that and for us always leaning back into Jesus but for pe no matter what whoever's listening you can you can choose today to make that commitment and and set the trajectory sure of your marriage today and and change it forever. We were fortunate enough to s start at the beginning of it and yes it's been tested over the years um but that's that's part of it. But you can agree you can pray you can lean in together and make that decision today and I promise you that it it's not without its challenges but it's going to be the best decision you've ever made.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah obviously if you're listening you I mean you don't know Jason Lindsay kind of like we do. And Lindsay just being calling it what it is she has no I've always known her to be very upfront with straight shooter straight shooter what's going on with that's what we love about her or whatever. She's also got red hair so that kind of comes with there you go redheads or whatever. So yeah but what what would you as a couple is listening today what would you guys say could be because I here's what we want to make sure that you're listening today. The four of us sitting at this table we'll keep it PG have been through some stuff. Oh man okay so understanding that because what we're asking you to do we realize is difficult yeah having like Lindsay said brave communication talking you know and again I think what even what Jason said you know that'll be we we really talk about this a lot with our couples knowing when you know if if if you are a straight shooter or whatever or you maybe not a big talker whatever the case may be but knowing that you've got to create this space between you and your husband or wife so that you can communicate about what's going on because Rob and I say it all the time why get married just stay single. Yeah because this ain't easy right you know it's it isn't always like I said earlier it's not always fairy tales but it again is the best hard work but like I was going to ask you guys it I don't want to put you on the spot with this whatever but like looking back you know I've our we talk about this all the time our parents our parents did the best they knew how to do when it comes to what where do you think that was that obviously just your desire to know Jesus better?
SPEAKER_02:Was it your desire to have a better relationship the skills that you've developed over the years was that modeled for you or is that something you felt like you've had to uh seek out on your own to develop in your relationship I think it came out of the conversations that we had while we were dating and the dreaming that we did together and the conversations that we had I think that those were significant things for us to where as we're talking about whatever the topic was there was flow of communication and we knew uh once obviously when we we got engaged to as well even as some of the conversations like for example how many kids we're gonna have or or other conversations that come up or living arrangements and all the things that come with as you're transitioning from being single to being one I think that was key at least that's what stands out to me where it it just came natural that these are pillars that we're choosing to carry into our relationship and commute our love for Jesus and a commitment to communication in all things would you say you guys had talked about that type of stuff right from the get go? Oh yeah yeah which is good which is crazy yeah yeah I mean that really is cool and do you think you guys are a lot alike no really I love the quick wouldn't it no no I I don't I mean there are there are you both love Alabama football yeah roll time and that fixes everything so but I I think there are I think that there are certain qualities there are but the things that okay now I'm fascinated by that so what do you think because you guys just I mean first of all if you're out there as a couple and you're in community or you're in church trust me people are observing and watching what you do.
SPEAKER_04:That's true.
SPEAKER_03:You know to the your detriment or to the positive of that when it comes to a relationship you know there are people that we know that go, we don't want to be that couple and then there's people go, man, we want to be that couple they're they're really in love. You know what I'm saying? Yeah so that's real. So perception is important. So but I mean we've all I think we've always just because you guys seem to be so in sync with each other. Now I'm not saying again that you don't disagree.
SPEAKER_05:That's not what we're talking about or have different opinions but right what what would you say Yeah I'm curious like what are you where do you think you're the most different yeah Lindsay well some people have said I'm I can be a little sarcastic at times. Really? And so my husband has been living with that for 24 years 25 years if you count dating um and there have been moments where he's like oh I'm gonna dip my toe in that and see if that works for me. And it doesn't okay it doesn't at all bless bless him. Usually a kid starts crying bless him that's how bad we're talking so when you ask the question that's one thing that comes to mind.
SPEAKER_02:Well and I I think you know I on our anniversary night oh okay I sat across I sat across the table at your favorite one of your favorite restaurants probably the yes go ahead coffee crusted filet oh yeah yeah Stony River. Anyways so I sit across and I'm like tears are welling up in my eyes and I'm looking at her and I said I prayed for you. However what's interesting about all of this is that everything that I prayed none of that got answered because Jesus knew so you're so much more okay good recovery. Yeah that was good okay we're back on track. Yeah right you're so much more than I even may she love Jesus okay check I mean there was there is even in my prayers and things that I would have even have remotely thought of and what's interesting about it is is it's it's almost become a every year that we are together or day or whatever there's little nuggets and reminders of yeah you you you didn't ask for that but I knew yeah you needed it.
SPEAKER_04:Yes oh gosh that's so good.
SPEAKER_02:So the weaknesses is and and strengths things and highs and lows we've seen that throughout our entire marriage and I think that's part of the reason why for me why I say that there are all there are differences.
SPEAKER_03:What do you most like Lindsay?
SPEAKER_05:What do you think you guys are I mean obviously roll tight exactly Alabama football that goes out yes exactly um we both love really well even like I mean obviously thankfully us but even with just people like we I've observed that we love to love on people and that's just a natural crime here. I know we're recipients of that love a lot of people and that's just a natural thing that we both get to do when we're you know if he's with the guys or I'm with the girls or if we're together like we just it's a deep passion for both of us and it's nothing we have to try to do thankfully.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah yeah you both love well you do yes yeah there's a it makes me think there's a saying that Rob and I use a lot that we tell couples you don't have to think alike but you do have to think together.
SPEAKER_02:That's a good one.
SPEAKER_04:You know because it's like that's where momentum happens. Right. Um and all couples complement each other as well as contrast each other. Right. So when it comes to the contrast a lot of people see that as a negative thing where really it's not I don't think because like I what I'm hearing you guys share together is you know are those areas where you pull on each other there's like a tension that's a good tension. Yeah. You know, and it it'll take you out of your comfort zone. Marriage will take you out of your comfort zone. Your spouse will take you out of your comfort zone. That's very true. You know, but sometimes you don't realize that you need to grow in certain areas until you feel that tension. Yeah. And you start questioning for yourself. And all that comes from a deep relationship like you said where there's this level of trust. I know the things in my life that have changed over the last 35 years um areas of my life where I didn't think a certain way but but Rob lovingly challenged me, you know, and I uh yeah lovingly and um and I allowed myself to then question and think, hmm so let me think you know be open-minded to the suggestion or a a different way of looking at something. I just see so much value in that. And I think that I see couples who are young people or singles whatever that they're looking for their soulmate. They're looking for this person you know like Rob and I in the Jerry McGuire movie, you know, you complete me. No you don't um and and because there's this ideal scenario in their mind they can miss who God might even have right in front of them because they're so caught up you know you know I'm saying like in this uh way of seeing that it has to be this way.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Um can you guys think of any encouragement like if we've got people that are listening right now that are single anything you want to say to that I I think be be brave in the sense of get in community and have fun.
SPEAKER_02:Take the pressure off of that's what I was gonna say headhunting right that's good it is and go go like the awkwardness I mean I talk to single guys a lot and and one of the things it's like I just I don't know I don't know what to I don't know what to do or and obviously part of that's I'm like well first start with getting your your putting your phone down right electronics Jesus don't get me started on that rabbit show but but I just go like take the pre take the pressure off and I think that was fun uh for Lindsay and I was until we decided that hey we're a couple now like in that season before that we just hung out and had fun. Yeah right and it just took all that pressure and out of it and we could enjoy being together and taking it for what it is.
SPEAKER_03:You said it earlier and and Robin and I years ago we we didn't have this theory where it was like I'm married to you you're my wife you know but we're not friends. You know I have friends you're my wife and then it was like we were like you're my husband and we looked at it and said that's the silliest thing we've ever told anybody. Why would we say but because she is my best friend because the definition of a friend is somebody that knows everything about you right and still loves you unconditionally a true friend. And that just and that describes Robert I think most young couples dating or even married have a like you said have fun. Be learn to be friends because what you said I think Lindsay it hit me too it's that that ability to know that you can share anything and that is scary. Yeah but I mean you know I know without even having to ask you guys to a point you've had to say things hey this is how this made me feel or when this happened this is and and this is or this is where I'm at in this moment.
SPEAKER_05:Right.
SPEAKER_03:And know that that's a safe right safe place. Right? Yes absolutely yeah you know it's you know this marriage thing is it is great but like a like we've said multiple times it's it's uh it's that's why it is a journey. Of course there's there's no destination. It and it it just it can grow and if you're listening today I mean we've got 24 years as Jason said and we've got 35 it's just it's I I wouldn't want to I love being married. I really do.
SPEAKER_06:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Even with all the stuff that we have went through from other people to ourselves to each other it's it's been worth the tears and the occasional yelling maybe you know more you than me but anyway just that Spanish blood in her comes out every now and then whatever.
SPEAKER_04:But no I'm sorry I shouldn't paint you out that way I think it's just that it took off me to realize the volume in which I would share at times. Gotcha that that Cuban thing yeah loud shield sometimes we share at a very like raised decibel yeah but we don't really know we do.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah so you had to point that out that was one of those moments where I had to go hmm am I doing that so as I want to shift just a second wait the parents as parents yes what do you and this could be a very loaded clut question so I was almost as an ask what do you think you know as you've progressed as parents you know from obviously you know with your kids now what do you think your kids would say or what do they say what uh about you how they better say there he is there's Lindsay that's what I was waiting for. So I mean what what do you hope you've instilled in them? I guess is what I'm trying to say.
SPEAKER_04:What were you Yeah or I was going to say maybe reframe it I think I know the road you're going down.
SPEAKER_03:Well that's why I said instilled. Yeah instilled that you're hoping that they've seen in your marriage.
SPEAKER_04:Right. Like we'll say to we say to couples it's great if your kids grow up and say and and they say something like my mom she was just the best mom or my dad wow he was a great dad but when your kids can say my mom was an incredible wife that's another thing or my dad man he loved my mom he was an incredible husband to my mom and yeah I was gonna say if if you could get into their heads and they're watching you as a couple not as mom and dad as husband and wife what do you hope that they're they're learning.
SPEAKER_03:I thought that's what I said but you said maybe a whole lot better. You're welcome. It's like Cuban coming out it is Lindsay what what do you what do you think?
SPEAKER_05:I think I think it would be along the lines of they're always willing to talk it out with each other and I know it's directed towards us but also with them and that we love to just be together. Like we love we just love time together.
SPEAKER_02:Family time's important in it it really is fun just as important as a family but also um for her Lindsay and I to have time together just the two of us. Yeah and that's been a journey to prioritize you know when kids are various ages it's it's we're at a different season right the kids are able to you know with having an 18 year old and a 20 soon to be 21 year old still in the house you know there's everybody could kind of take care of themselves right and yeah and uh but yeah I I would agree I wouldn't echo that that that's definitely a hope and a desire to show because I think I think ultimately for me just the the the friendship that we and the care that we have for each other um and be willing to do the hard things we try to live you know we try to live just just let's just take the gloves off right and just like my hey mom and dad are having a tough time or hey this is going on or whatever.
SPEAKER_03:I mean there's let's not there's do I do that because I know there are parents out there that that are listening would you say because I mean we're a big believer in this and it sounds like what I hear you saying would you would you say your kids know obviously when there's stress happening and then do they do you feel like you guys have done a good job of then walking out the other side of that when you've come out of stress or you call yourself out in front of them.
SPEAKER_05:You know, hey what what happened between your mom and I you know that the yes I mean oh yeah absolutely we do that and also I think I think the reason that was what I said was because that was not my growing up so when I say that you know if we have tough conversations ours aren't the screaming yelling throwing things someone's walking out the door with threatening you know divorce like that we made a commitment a long time ago not to do that.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah so good and so we've been able to yeah would you say they kids have seen you you guys walk out how to resolve something yeah in real time at times without blowing up yeah we don't let it get to that that point. No you guys realize how I mean I'm I'm I'm really serious about what I'm about to say. I mean I I know Robin well enough and you guys are awesome. Because I'm just telling you because you know even your story from where you were to where you are that's I I I assume you guys recognize that's just not everybody's thinking out there. You know to be willing to put the effort in to be willing to put the work in I mean that's what we tell every couple we take through premarital you've already done more than most couples ever do because you're willing to say I want to put the work in early to start our relationship out. And every healthy couple that we know thinks like that. You know and if you're listening and you're not doing some of these things we've got some encouragement. It's not too late. I don't care if you've been married 10, 20, 30, 40 like Jason said 50 years. It's never too late to turn the dial and say okay we we can finish this thing strong but as you said you got to have brave communication brave communication saying things like and having conversations like okay you know for example we want to be like Robin Robin right?
SPEAKER_02:Roll tide. Okay but the problem is there's only one sure Rob and Rob there's only one Jason and Lindsay absolutely like so and more so the measuring stick right that we see in couples are trying to be like and whatever and striving and I think that's been a beautiful thing as I'm reflecting again on 24 years is we've never done that as well as we've chosen to um measure each other in the relationship of just look I I'm having a bad day I'll I'll carry you right um you're having a bad day or I've I've said this um before too as well like I I just I just need uh your help I I need you to listen I need you to say those words I need from you is is powerful and and also saying things like I need some space just for a little bit I'm coming back right right right but I'm I'm gonna step into the other room and we'll come back to this and being able to trust that the power of the palm right yeah yeah and don't I mean hear me it's not like oh absolutely go take your time right sometimes it's like oh dear lord just finish the conversation right like please but I want to get it done respect it enough to be like okay and then that's my time to be with the Lord in my frustration.
SPEAKER_05:Yes and he works with me.
SPEAKER_03:And that look at what you just said that I'm again I I I was talking to a guy this this past week on a job and for me Jason knows this he does the same thing. I'm always trying to find a way well I'm kind of gauging you know I'll say hey I was talking to a guy at church the other day see what type of response and it just turned into this he's an older gentleman turned in this beautiful conversation about his first relationship where he is with God he said and he said it before I could he said I don't know how couples make it without God in the center of it. Obviously we know couples that it can work but that ability what you what you just said Lindsay to again not just hit the pause button but say God I'm manner than Hades right now and I need to take a step back but I need to I want to invite you into this moment because if I say the first thing pops in my head it probably will not go well. Yeah you know I mean that's like happened for me Jason's heard this story. I mean when we first got married I I I went the opposite of my dad my dad was a yell or screamer fist through walls so I just didn't say anything I shut down. Yeah so the louder she got in her mind which was loud to me just made me shut down. Yeah so I had to learn and we've we tested this word and Jason and I talked about it many times I had to learn that my vulnerability didn't make me less in her eyes it actually brought us closer. Yeah and I think most men that are listening to this we're just we make fun yeah that just oh I I sorry I'm just having all kinds of words in my head that I'm trying to filter myself. That just irritates me to know in that men have bought into the lie that communicating with our wives sharing our feelings being vulnerable is somehow less makes us less than a man I I that just I hate that that mindset that happened to that. I love sharing my life with you said it earlier you know what why would I I I want to share these things I want to share these moments even if they're difficult yeah I want I want you we're in the same foxhole together.
SPEAKER_04:Exactly yes exactly yes that's I love that whole that visual the way that you just described it and and so true.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah um but we do learn and and so as somebody's listening I I know you well enough I know this is not what you're saying. Every story every couple story is is an individual story. Of course but the great thing is like what we're doing here we learn from each other we ask questions you and I both have asked questions as husbands to each other and as as fathers and you know sons you know how how how has this worked how have you and you learn how to apply those things in your own relationship.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:There's strength in community of course strength in couples And I think it's so needed. Yeah, it's so needed.
SPEAKER_02:I I think I think the the if I could take a step further is when I made the statement about measuring, is is if you start as a couple, if you start measuring yourself to other people, what happens is that dilutes the conversation and the intimacy that you have, particularly around, well, when you get it to a point of contention, you could say, well, they're not like this. What are we? Yeah. Or I wish you were like this person because they treat their that's never gonna go well.
SPEAKER_04:No, it's not gonna go well.
SPEAKER_03:So I ticked it. Yeah, yeah. No, that's good. That's a good explanation. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, exactly. Like you can you can find tools. Right. You know, we tell the premarit the couples that go through premarital, Rob and I can give you some suggestions, tools in the tool belt and all, but there is no way you're ever going to be prepared to walk into marriage fully. You can read every book on the shelf. That's what you're doing. You can do everything you want. But when you say I do, and you move underneath that roof together, and it's two people who've come from two different worlds, and now your worlds are colliding and you're together, there are all kinds of awesome things happening, but there's a lot of adjustment at the same time too. Um, and but if you can, yeah, keep in that mindset of like, this is my story, this is our story as a couple, one of a kind. I always tell them one of a kind, yeah, handcrafted, and no one will have your story but you. And work it. What do you do with it? Even what you've learned from mom and dad, yeah, grandparents, yeah, everybody who's gonna give you suggestions of what they even think you should do as a married couple, because sometimes you just have those family members that want to oh, do it this way, that way. No, it this is your story. You may be in the same family tree, but this is your branch.
SPEAKER_03:You gotta ask, you know, you gotta ask, Robin says all the time. You have to keep asking great questions, and then you've got to learn to be quiet. And that's tough.
SPEAKER_01:That's true. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Because I heard this the other day, and this is I I think this is a powerful statement. You should never ask a question if you're not expecting an honest response. Right. That's good. But most of us, let's just be real, yeah. We're we're not taught that in not only in in marriage, but in life in general.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:We're really asking a question because we want you to agree with us. Absolutely. Yep. Versus well, you've never done that before.
SPEAKER_02:I'm joking.
SPEAKER_03:We couldn't tell.
SPEAKER_06:But right.
SPEAKER_03:But yeah, I mean, think about it. And that's what you said, Lindsay. It's that brave communication, that ability. Yeah. Because it if if like what you guys have done so well to explain it, and I if if you let me back up. Some it feels most of the time I'd say for Robin and I that I know she's for me. But there has been moments because of maybe what I saw as a kid, uh lies that I've bought into about myself, or my, you know, I you know, my lack of self-confidence in myself, that she says something, I hear it a different way.
SPEAKER_05:Sure.
SPEAKER_03:You know, but but if if you're brave enough to keep asking questions from the point of saying this is worth it.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:And i I know, I know Robin loves me. So even if she says it to me wrong, I know she loves me.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And that's that's kind of been our Jason and I've talked about that. That's kind of our bottom. That's uh, that's our baseline. I'm for you, you're for me. Yeah, and we're not going below that.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And that's what I hear you guys saying about about yourself.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. The greatest, the greatest decision that I've ever made was not to put a ring, five, figure out how to buy a ring for her. It was the invitation of when I got up, when I knew that she was the one, it wasn't like flashing lights and all the things that I'd pictured in my mind or clear word or anything. It was like I cannot see myself getting through the rest of my story on this earth without not having her alongside of me in that story. And yeah, yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Wow, this is good.
SPEAKER_03:Before we before we wrap up here, um, if you guys, whichever one we're gonna go first, is there if if you I know you do talk to couples, is there anything that crosses your mind about something you want to say to encourage them or something that, man, I wish I'd known this back then, what I know now? And you know, there's no pressure there, but if there's anything, you know, somebody's listening today that might be in a place of like of whatever, yeah. Anything hits your spirit or your heart?
SPEAKER_02:Um, I just going back to something I we said earlier on the pause, um when you when you are ready or needing a pause, make sure that you are very intentional about when you're gonna be back.
SPEAKER_06:Yes.
SPEAKER_02:Set a deadline. And and it could be just I need 10 minutes, right? But be clear on like, okay, I need 10 minutes, but I'm going, I'm gonna get in my truck, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go for a walk or whatever. Like be transparent, right? Right, be willing, and make sure you're how you're walking out the door or walking, but just be intentional about putting those parameters around in communication, just saying, hey, I need I just need a a a pause, I'm coming back. You know, something I I've in the highs and in the lows, something that I've used a lot in our discussions um and just in relationship is is I've always said I'm not I've always told Lindsay I'm I'm not going anywhere. I'm I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here. Um it goes goes a long way because yeah, and it not everything's shuns, shine, and roses. Sometimes the Mondays are longer than just one Monday.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, right?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. What about you, Lindsay?
SPEAKER_05:I think the main piece of advice, at least a big one, that I tell newlyweds about is for some reason when people get married, people just want to be like, Oh, that first year is so hard. It's so hard, it's so hard. And so I'm so glad you're saying this right now. Thanks. For um our marriage before we were married, anytime that would happen, I would just take that thought captive. I would just give that to the Lord and pray against that. And maybe we had the best first year ever.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, so true.
SPEAKER_05:Because it feels like if you're not intentional to address that, then you just kind of buy into it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Wow. That's good. It's really good. Yeah. Good thoughts for sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Robin, any any final thoughts?
SPEAKER_04:Just thankful for our time together. Oh, yeah. It's great to have great friends.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04:Um I love the fact that I always tell Rob, I don't know who's gonna listen to this podcast, but if it was just for us, oh we get as much out of them as I don't care if any of them are. You know, it's like it's just so good. Because it yeah, it causes you to think, and there's uh I feel so much gratitude sitting here with the four of us, you know, just like man, God, you're so good. Like, you know, you just I feel like he's just kind of shining down on us, and um, and so yeah, I'm leaving encouraged, just so encouraged. So thank you guys, thank both of you. It's just awesome. You're welcome. It's been great.
SPEAKER_03:Thanks for having us. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's we've we've done we've done life together with you guys. I mean, we've been to your house, we've watched football games together, we've roll time, we've right, we've eaten chicken wings, we've done you know, we've done all those things. These famous chili chili. See, I know, yeah. Chili, you know, and we've prayed with each other. Yeah, um, you've prayed for me, I've prayed for you, vice versa, on the other side of the table. Yeah, so so it's those moments in not you know, like what we talked about, where that trust and vulnerability are layers like bricks that are stacking, you know. You we trust you guys, you know, and because we've shared, you know, I've shared things with Jason besides Robin that I probably share with nobody else.
SPEAKER_06:Right.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you know, and those, ooh, I'm about to about to go. You know, and you just don't take those things, I don't take those things lightly.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_03:You know, and it's the same thing in marriage, you know. I don't take the person that sits across from me that I've been married to for 35 years, I don't take this relationship lightly. So I cherish it, I honor it, I'm thankful for it. So, and that's the same thing with you guys. I mean, we're grateful for you guys, you know, that you've been in our life all these years. And yeah, it's just, you know. So if you're listening today, be encouraged. You know, wherever you're at in your walk, in your marriage, or if you're not married yet, just know that God, God, and I know this sounds so cheesy, but he really does have a plan for you.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:But you have to choose to put him first. Yeah. That's why going back to what Lindsay said from the get-go, this was my prayer, this was what I was looking for. This is this these were the things I needed. Even if you're opposites on other things, when you when you settle on it in your heart, God, I'm not selling for anything except the best that you have for me. Because you said, Rob, it, you know, and again, I I don't want to just labor this point, but you know, this whole soulmate thing, I I'm not, I'm not really, I don't really buy into that. Because I mean, the person that Robin's married to now, and Lindsay would just say the same thing about you, Jason, the person you are now, yes, there's similarities, but we've all seen growth in each other as a husband and a wife. Absolutely. Yes, for sure. You know, and that's and that's all we can hope for. And we hope other people, you know, watch that and observe that and watch us as we grow. So yeah, thanks for again coming out. Thank you so much for having us. We love you guys. Love you both. Yep, so thanks again for tuning in. Uh, make sure to hit that like button. See you guys. See you. Bye.
SPEAKER_00:You've been listening to Marriage and Us with your hosts, Robin Robin Atkins. Stay up to date by following them on Instagram at Marriage and Us underscore podcast and on Twitter at Marriage and Us. Also, hit the follow button so you never miss an episode from your favorite couple.