Marriage and Us
Are you recently engaged, newlyweds, or married for years and looking to learn even more about the art of marriage? Hosts Rob and Robin Atkins discuss what they've learned with honesty, humor, and gospel mindedness. In 34 years of marriage and 10 years as pre and post marriage coaches they practice what they teach. A podcast designed for couples with old tools or no tools wanting to maximize their life together with simple principles that can transform your marriage.
Marriage and Us
S3E01 - Keeping It Simple in 2025
In this episode, Robin and Robin explore the art of simplicity in marriage as we approach 2025. Discover practical tips and strategies to declutter your relationship, prioritize what truly matters, and foster deeper connections with your partner. Join the conversation to learn how to embrace a more intentional and fulfilling year together, keeping stress at bay and love at the forefront!
Music by - Roger Jaeger - from the album (Fall Off the Earth)
Produced by - Jared Nester
Outro by - Madison Nester
Hi, I'm Rob and I'm Robin. Thanks for listening to Marriage and Us. Each week we will talk about real-life topics that couples experience in everyday married life. So let's get to today's episode. Hello everybody.
Speaker 2:Hey.
Speaker 1:I know it's hard to believe, but we are back.
Speaker 2:We are so back.
Speaker 1:And better than ever. You know it. Yes.
Speaker 2:We've missed you guys.
Speaker 1:Yes, so let's go through. So, since we lasted a podcast, happy Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Happy birthday to me, merry Christmas and a happy new year. So we have.
Speaker 1:A lot has been going on since the last time we recorded or did anything did an episode 2024, we've been very open about that was a hit and miss year for us. Before we'd been very open about that, it was a hit and miss year for us. There was just so many things going on in our life and transitions and things that were happening. I think we mentioned on the last episode. We are now officially on our farm on our land. Yeah, that's where we're recording, not on the land. I mean, we're in the house right now, but we are recording.
Speaker 2:Thanks, for the clarification.
Speaker 1:I just want to make sure that nobody thought we were out in the field.
Speaker 2:I mean it would be cool to do an episode out in the barn. No, I think we will. We have a barn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we've talked about that for sure, but, yeah, it's overwhelming, it's exciting Everything that God has done at the end of the year and as we move into 2025, it's where I mean just can't wait to see what happens next.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so we're just here and we're going to move in. Season two was super short, but we're just going to start the new year off, so welcome to season three.
Speaker 2:It was a limited edition on season two.
Speaker 1:Limited edition podcast. Yes, that is so good. We are in the new year.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:With that. Typically, it's interesting. Over the last couple of days I've been around a bunch of bonfires. We had one here at the house recently. That was so incredible. We grilled hot dog, did s'mores, the stars were incredible, so that was great. And then I went to a birthday party and was around another bonfire, ended up talking to a bunch of different people and obviously the word that always comes up is the new year.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when it comes to January, when it comes to.
Speaker 1:January and I asked a few people. I didn't know necessarily we weren't talking about this on the podcast, but I asked a few people about New Year's resolutions.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And they all said the exact same thing that they don't make them or believe in them. So I found that very interesting and so I was doing a little research and I don't know if you knew this there is now. This is not good. There is now official data. I don't think I would call it a celebration, but it's recognized. That's the word I was looking for On January the 10th, so it's coming up is Quitter's Day.
Speaker 2:Wow, ten days.
Speaker 1:Because here's the quote I've got, because research has shown that many people abandoned their resolutions by then, and it led me to, so there's a next part to this I'm going to read in just a second. So I was thinking about that, and so their point is this Instead of making it hard on yourself to have goals that are too vague, set goals that are smart. And here's their acronym I love this Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely.
Speaker 2:Okay, say that again.
Speaker 1:So the word smart acronym, oh smart, the acronym smart, smart, okay for smart. And it stands for what did you think I said?
Speaker 2:I don't know, I was just trying to dial in.
Speaker 1:So smart, so specific.
Speaker 2:That's S.
Speaker 1:Right. Did I say that right? Specific? Because I used to say Pacific like the ocean. Remember that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right, I forgot about that. Yes, sorry. Yes, specific is S.
Speaker 1:Yes, measurable is M. Achievable is A Realistic Real measurable is m achievable is a realistic realistic.
Speaker 1:Really like that word and timely timely okay because so we're going to relate this to marriage. Obviously it. You know, when you think about your, when you're trying to say, I want to make a resolution, that in itself sounds great, but when you put such expectations that are unrealistic, that's when most people, I believe, quit Sure. I mean gym memberships always skyrocket the first few weeks of the year, whatever the case may be. So you're wanting to, and everybody that I was talking to around the campfires were like you know, if I need to make a change, I want to make it because I want to, not because I feel some pressure or because you know it's just a new year, because I'm not going to stick to it.
Speaker 2:That's good. Yeah, that's a great way to describe it, like you feel a pressure to do it or that you can only make this kind of change at the beginning of a year, which also is kind of silly.
Speaker 1:Right. So when we I mean all the couples that we've talked to over the years, when you think about it again, we always encourage. When you hear a couple asking questions, you know what can we do better? How can we have a good marriage? How can I change myself? Those are thumbs up. I mean, those are the things you're going now. Now you're asking the right questions because you're not waiting for something. You're proactive in trying to make steps that make yourself better and your marriage better yes, that's good yeah, I it.
Speaker 1:So what do you think about some of those words you know as far as when it comes to you know, because I believe in goals, I think goals are great, but when you look at that to understand that you know you need to think, like the word measurable I love that word. So, how you know, when you think about making changes in your marriage, what's some of the things that you've observed? You know, as we take talk to people, as we take them through that, that we've seen couples be successful in. Do you have any thoughts when it comes to that? I do.
Speaker 2:I think that when you, when you first think of a word like measurable now, this is just me talking that you feel like it has to be like measurable by a large measure.
Speaker 1:Okay, like cooking, when you're measuring something out.
Speaker 2:Maybe Okay, or it could be more, like I'm saying measurable from the point of did you make a real difference?
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Right, I'm seeing it from that perspective. Okay, did you make a real difference?
Speaker 3:Okay, right, I'm seeing it from that perspective.
Speaker 2:Okay, and I think that one way we've encouraged couples over the years is that you celebrate the small wins.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Right. So if you're working on communicating better and you make just a tiny step towards that right, so let's talk about.
Speaker 1:I'll give you an example.
Speaker 2:So let's say you're working on trying to get better at resolve when it comes to arguments.
Speaker 1:Which is what a resolution actually is, by the way. A resolution is resolve.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, good, so there we go. A resolution is resolved. Okay, all right, good, so there we go. So let's say you're in an argument and you're trying not to be provoked or get mad or defensive or whatever. And let's say you even go there a little bit, like you didn't want to, but you still went there a little bit, but you caught yourself.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And said oh man, you'm, I'm so busy protecting myself. This is, you know, like, let's say, you and I are in an argument and then I make a statement to you like gosh, I just realized I'm so busy defending myself and my point of view that this argument's really not productive in any way. So I I'm recognizing I'm doing it right now and I'm sorry for that, and then you continue on in the discussion. You've still improved your communication.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Did you argue and maybe did you even, maybe you know if that was me and I did that and I have done that in the past just by me taking a minute to catch the fact that I did, to recognize it, to acknowledge it and to even mention to you hey, sorry about that, and then continue on to find resolve is still measurable, and the fact that it was better than if I had not recognized it at all spent the whole argument just doing nothing but defending myself, and we really got nowhere at the end of it.
Speaker 1:Does that make sense? No, no, absolutely. And as a spouse, as a partner, you appreciate those moments Because, again, I don't know why we still see this a lot when it comes to couples, know why we still see this a lot when it comes to couples that, like what you said, that scenario that you brought up to, to know that you've put forth the effort to correct something. You know, we see a lot of couples. What I'm trying to get to is this we see a lot of couples who, when they could have that opportunity, that the way you brought that up, they don't do it. And then they tell us well, you know, I was thinking about that and I wish I would have said this Again.
Speaker 1:Those are measurable things that you can look back and go oh, you know, that was an opportunity. I think we point that out a lot of times. When we're talking to couples, we go did you hear what they said? Because they just gave you insight to how that they are thinking. And if you can learn to do that one-on-one when I say one-on-one with your spouse and have that ability to say, hey, I recognize how I said that to you wasn't right or how I was feeling about that this is what was happening. Those are huge moments. They're small, they may seem small in the moment, but they really bring long lasting change. Yes, and how you communicate in your analogy, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's good and I think again.
Speaker 1:Looking at a few of these words, you know that goes with the word achievable as well, too. That's something that you can change individually, and how you can. You know we're talking about communication in this moment, but how you communicate and how you relate to your spouse Again, you you say this all the time and it's the greatest advice I hear you give any couple you know ask good questions, because good questions are definitely going to lead us in the right direction.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, that's great and then realistic. Right, I said I love the word realistic because I think that we I mean really. That ties into the whole idea of resolutions. You know you're you're making these huge resolutions, sometimes for the new year.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But are they? Are they realistic? Yeah Right, like if I said, hey, I'm going to the gym every day. Well, now we live out in the country, so I drive an hour to work every morning and drive an hour back in the afternoon, Right. And then we live in the country nowhere near a gym. So for me to make a statement like I'm going to the gym every day.
Speaker 1:You could country nowhere near a gym. So for me to make a statement like I'm going to the gym every day, you could go lift some tires on the barn now. Or some of you may say on instagram or go pull the boat, you could.
Speaker 2:You know, yeah, I could tie you with a rope around your waist and you could pull a boat in rocky or whatever he's mentioning tires, because so that the property we bought has a big barn that, wow, it was just like the dumping ground for many years, it would appear of just all kinds of weird items, but lots of tires.
Speaker 1:Tires yes.
Speaker 2:So we've got a dumpster out there right now, so that's why he's bringing up tires.
Speaker 1:We had several coats out there.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure why you would leave a coat out in a barn and a few Well you would if you were cold and you were working in the barn, but these were not like nice coats.
Speaker 1:Well, they probably were at one time. Maybe at one time they were disgusting. Right, and no joke, jared, my son-in-law was here with me to help me. We probably found probably 25 to 30 gloves. I mean, the man probably kept Ace Hardware, you know, in business just because he had to buy. Whoever it was bought gloves all the time. So it was just that part was a little crazy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you think he was one of those guys. That's like I can't find my glove. I can only find one glove, and then now you found the secret stash of like the missing second glove of several sets.
Speaker 1:Possibly and somewhere somebody is missing two or three pair of cutoff blue jeans. So we found those. Wow, yeah, so it was. You never know what you're going to find in a barn. So that was I'm glad we didn't find anything else. You know we were. I'm glad it was cold because we didn't find, like you know, mice or snakes or anything like that.
Speaker 2:So that, yeah, that's always that's always good to know that.
Speaker 1:Uh yeah, that you wouldn't find a snake or no. I was. I had a golf clubs at some they'd left behind and I would poke stuff. I'm not going to lie, I was a little nervous at times to make sure I didn't want something to jump out and me run out screaming of the barn and people driving by not knowing what's going on. But with any time—.
Speaker 2:Sorry folks, we were chasing rabbits there for a minute, that's okay.
Speaker 1:People know us well enough to know that. And, plus again, cleaning out the barn. I've been posting videos left and right on Instagram and Facebook about, just, you know, cleaning that up and what that looks like, because that's kind of me and my tractor. Some of you that are following us know that I have become a tractor addict.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure if there's a group Tractors.
Speaker 2:Anonymous Tractors Anonymous.
Speaker 1:Tractors Anonymous that I can go to, but it's the most wonderful thing ever because it's just the sound of that engine and just the tractor and me and God out there just talking and riding around. I have become the envy of most men at my church, don't you think?
Speaker 2:Yes, Everyone comes up and talks to you about the tractor and wants to come out and ride the tractor. Drive the tractor.
Speaker 1:May sell tickets Good idea. To raise money Wherever you may be in your relationship, in your marriage, and you're able to look back at, really, really enjoy talking about practical ways. Simple ways, small, improve our communication and just our life together, you know, and I think that that's so good. So with that in mind, I think You've got a bunch of words set out in front of us here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you guys enjoy just little simple exercises to help strengthen your marriage. This is something we've done with our couples in the past is what you've got, exactly, and these are little simple ways that go into 2025, that you could create a game of sorts that you could play with your spouse. That just might help with communication. And so what you do is you, we use index cards, just like you know a little simple, but I mean you could do sticky notes, I don't know. Whatever you want, to.
Speaker 2:Right, and so there are several words that are listed on these cards. Some of the words are creativity, communication, mutual respect, letting go of control, romance yes, understanding of self and your spouse, I'm on it. Sensitivity, dependability, frustrations, honesty, transparency on it. Sensitivity, dependability, frustrations, honesty, transparency One of my favorites, doing it different.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Joy, I don't know. I may have said some of these twice. Cooperation.
Speaker 1:Transparency or openness, playfulness.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So all these are just really fun words and what the idea is is you can just kind of lay all these cards out or sticky notes with these words on. You know all the different cards or notes, and then you know you just what. Whatever you're kind of drawn to, whatever word, that's the one you pick up and you just talk to your spouse about your thoughts on that, yeah, and why that word is important to you, yeah. So let me say that it's not a good idea to pick up a word like this and then you know, get into it with your spouse about why, they're not doing these things.
Speaker 2:That's not the point. Right as much as it is. Why that word.
Speaker 1:Like if you were to pick up letting go of control, and then you used it against their whatever Right Wouldn't be a good idea. No, don't do that.
Speaker 2:So this is like something that's very light in a way. I mean, I know some of these words might be heavier than other words as far as the connotation of it, but I still think, yeah, that they're all. There's just a way to learn from each other, and these are the simple ideas just simple things going into 2025.
Speaker 2:Not so much big resolutions with your marriage where you're going to fix every single thing that you feel like needs to be improved in the year of 2025. It fix every single thing that you feel like needs to be improved in the year of 2025. It's like taking just little opportunities and words like this to just kind of, you know, start good conversation.
Speaker 1:And another way to do this. Again, what we're trying to motivate you to do as you move into 2025 is to have conversation, to have conversation.
Speaker 1:What and again, not a resolution. But what are you hoping for in 2025 for your marriage? What are you hoping for for yourself? Again, a resolution. Again, you look at that, it quits. We're not trying to set ourself up for failure. What we're trying to do is set ourselves up for success in our marriage, and it may be something where another concept that we know is where you go. You know you write down four or five things that you would like to see in yourself. You know that you'd like to change in yourself this year and then ask your spouse. You know, again, this requires trust. It requires transparency.
Speaker 1:It requires being vulnerable. And again, you're not being defensive, because when you ask these questions, you may not get the response that you're looking for, because you're trying to craft it in some way where it makes you look the best you can, but ask your spouse hey, here's five things I'd like to work on this year. Not a resolution. It's not that you get them all right or that you even do them all that's not the purpose of it but it's putting something in your mind and in your heart that you're trying to move towards.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Because every successful marriage has to be moving forward.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You cannot stay stagnant. We talked about it so much last year the word curiosity. You've got to keep those things, and so anything that you can do that creates conversation and that gives you that opportunity to say, oh, I hadn't thought about it that way, I didn't see it that way, and then do the same thing. You know, what do you see for our marriage this year? What are some things that we did great, like what you said? This just hit me as we're talking Go back and talk about what you celebrated from 2024. How do you think our marriage improved? That's probably a great place to start, actually.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Go hey, where did you think our marriage improved in 2024? And then where do you think us we how we can improve that in 2025?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's great. If you want to, let's pick.
Speaker 3:I want to pick one for just a minute and talk about it.
Speaker 2:So my card that just keeps grabbing my attention is doing it different.
Speaker 1:What does that mean?
Speaker 2:And so I think that for us, you know this move and this change in our whole lifestyle. We went from living in the heart of Nashville, a few miles from downtown, to now living an hour outside of Nashville and just way out in the country, and it's been wonderful, but it's very different.
Speaker 1:Yes, way out in the country and it's been wonderful.
Speaker 2:But it's very different, you know, and and not only has our life changed because of a new location, and we're, you know, getting used to our home, which I should mention too. You know, moving out here onto this property, although we have so much more land, our home, we probably lost what five or six hundred square feet of house and we are in a much smaller home here on the property, and so you know that was like a big change for us because we've been married, you know, a long time 34 years.
Speaker 1:34 years.
Speaker 2:And you realize how much you accumulate in those 34 years and so there was Just my T-shirts alone your shoes and my shoes and your jackets and all the clothes.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm a clothes person, he is.
Speaker 2:He's very much clothes person, you know. But finding a way to edit what we have so that things will fit in this home, what we have so that things will fit in this home. And, honestly, we're still in the midst of trying to figure out do we need this or what about this? Do we keep this? Do we get rid of it? You know we're doing things differently. The home, our home, is smaller. We love this house that we've moved into and, like I said, love the land, but we're doing things differently.
Speaker 2:Rob, you had mentioned, you know, your change in your work life you know, too, and so you know now I'm driving all the way into the city still every day.
Speaker 1:Which was a big change for us. Some of you that know us that we've talked about that. That's been, I'd say, for you and for me both one of the largest change because for, realistically, people not laugh but they go. Really, how have you been able to pull up? For 34 years We've driven. I take you to work, we talk, that's our time in the morning.
Speaker 2:I pick you up and we have that time coming home we would always carpool and we only needed one vehicle. We've had several vehicles, but we only had one vehicle at a time because, yeah, no matter uh it just always worked no matter where we were it was always like five minutes yeah and our, our schedules. It just always meshed so so I miss that.
Speaker 1:I know you do too. Yeah, yeah, I miss it.
Speaker 2:It's really weird. You know to drive in every day by myself. We talk on the phone some, which that's helpful, but you know we're we're doing it differently. Now, some of the things we're doing differently may not be for the long haul, but at the moment.
Speaker 2:These are the things that we're doing, that we're doing, and I think too, in moving into a new house, even the things that felt like priority to me or priority to you. I think we've had to learn how to have grace for each other, with what things stand out as being important, and because we haven't had that communication time in the car coming and going too, it's just been so interesting how you know when I come home and I mean you're in farm mode all day, property mode out here, you know doing things being Farmer Rob, on your tractor and you know, if you text me right now I probably won't answer because I can't hear the text over my tractor engine.
Speaker 1:So just keep that in mind.
Speaker 2:My text may be delayed yes, so that's been very um, at times challenging for us, I think since we've been here, I think there has been some challenges that we've had in that and a learning curve to find ways to communicate, and that really makes me think you know, no matter how much you feel like you communicate well, when new surroundings and circumstances happen, I think that it can alter your communication you know, because it's our communication.
Speaker 2:At times can feel very habitual is a weird word to use, but you know what I'm saying. Like, very like. I figured this out and I know how we communicate and you know getting this rhythm and now we're in a whole different rhythm than we have been for 13 years that we lived in the other place.
Speaker 1:We've talked about it and we've been pretty open and, again, just being real and upfront and talking about it. You know we've realized we've been out of sync, not intentionally, but because of the circumstances. It's caused our, like you said, our rhythm has changed and that's been a huge like learning curve. So I think we've both done a great job and this is something we want to encourage you as you're listening. Again, you've got to check in, not from the point of like, hey, are you okay, is there something wrong? That's not the point but it's just like, hey, where are we?
Speaker 1:Is there something I'm missing? Is there something that hey, the day got going you forgot to share with me? Is there something I'm missing, right? Is there something that hey, the day got going you forgot to share with me? Is there something I missed that you shared with me that I need to be aware of? So it's continually and because, like you said, I think that's a great visual. You know, anytime there's transition or change, how you synced up and how your rhythm has been is it's a different beat.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so it's learning how how to communicate that and how to connect. I mean, it can be something as simple. I know you won't mind me sharing this because it's just real world. You know, I'd hang something during the day because I'm here at the house currently, you know, because I'm still in transition, looking for a different job, different employment, and you'd come home and it's not that we got into arguments Like I didn't realize, I mean yeah we did get into a little bit of an argument, but my point was is that because I didn't realize when you shared with me and said, hey, I want to be here for these moments.
Speaker 1:I want to be here to hang something with you, I want to be able to give my input? And I'm thinking I'm just trying to do it and make it easier, and I'm like, oh, that makes a lot more sense Because now I understand, you know I could have communicated better. Hey, where do you actually want this? I'm thinking this, you're thinking that.
Speaker 2:Right like hanging mirrors, yeah, mirrors.
Speaker 1:or a picture, or whatever the case may be. Yeah, so it's. And again, you, you to a point you don't think those small things are that big a deal. But when your rhythm is off, that's, you've got to communicate even more Sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So I I'm sure some of you guys can relate to this different seasons of life, different things that you're in you know. You know, and and even in the excitement of like oh my gosh, this is incredible, we just bought this property. It's amazing, you know. There's like the the excitement and all the feels about this whole new place, but at the same time, you know there is this like oh wow, everything's changed and even selling the house, you know, like our little house in town you know that we were there for 13 years.
Speaker 2:We were very emotional on that last day, you know our daughter, maddie, was with us and I mean.
Speaker 1:We sat in an empty house on the floor and just cried.
Speaker 2:We cried our eyes out Because there's a lot of great memories there, yeah we were just yeah, that remembrance of, like everything that happened in this house and even though where we're at is a total upgrade, it was like the closing of a door and the opening of a new door. Well, because that was comfortable.
Speaker 1:We knew that place.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and that so parallels with marriage. Anytime you're in the midst of a transition, it becomes uncomfortable. And, going back to what we started, the whole episode with resolution, you know you're trying to make changes and that's where frustration comes in, because it's not comfortable. Yeah, and in marriage there are going to be those moments when it's not comfortable, but that doesn't mean you, you know, you don't quit on your marriage.
Speaker 2:Sure no, you don't quit on your marriage. Sure, no, you don't. Hopefully, no, no, I'm not saying sure you do.
Speaker 1:Sure, yeah, I'm out of here, but what we're saying is, you've got to make that effort to go, okay, and I know we've said this so many times that's where that ability to go hey, I had some guy this is so funny. I had some guy this is so funny. I had a guy that I met a couple weeks ago that delivered something. And some of you that know me, I think when you're having a conversation, you're always looking for these opportunities. You might say, hey, I was at church the other day, or I'll tell somebody what I do, and I do it with the podcast, and it goes oh, and then boom, next thing.
Speaker 1:You know he and I are having this 15 minute conversation on marriage and it was just such this great, this great moment, and but he was talking about transition. You know they're thinking about having another kid, but they've been married 15 years and you know. So it's just like there's always these opportunities for wonderful change. But when you're again, when your rhythm is off, when you're not in sync with each other, you have to make the decision to say we're going to find it's a new path, but we're going to get there together.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, we just want to encourage everybody who's listening today, all you guys out there, that this is like we just keep saying this is a new year with new things and um, for some of you that are experiencing change, like we are, um, or for some of you that you've walked into 2025 and everything feels the same, um, but maybe you don't want it to be the same. You know, like just little cues, like I said, this little simple card idea, right, and just always you ask good questions. I will always say that and that opens up wonderful conversation. But I you know my prayer for you guys out there today is just that you walk into this year not overwhelmed with having to make so many changes that it just feels weighty and like a burden, but to hopefully bring hope and anticipation that that you guys just change a few little things, you know, little baby steps towards. Yeah, yeah, just some some new stuff, some new things this year, yeah, and it's not.
Speaker 1:It's not. We're not saying I think again, as we we close today, you're not trying to make these huge swing for the fences. You know, like you know, I'm going for broke. Those moments just don't work, Because that's not really what a long-term relationship looks like.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It's effort, it's work We've said it's the best hard work you'll ever do but it's those small changes that make long lasting, because again, you're going to miss it. I think back to what you said earlier, and we say this all the time You're always going to have an opportunity, and I've said this before and I'm trying to think of a better way to say it, and I've said this before and I'm trying to think of a better way to say it there's always an opportunity when you don't do it the right way. And that sounds very vague, but when you're trying to communicate with your spouse, when you're trying to make a change and you mess up, and then you put forth that effort and the next time you're in that same situation, your spouse recognizes oh, they did listen, they did try to change.
Speaker 1:Those are the small changes that we're talking about that make a lasting impression on your spouse because they realize you're trying to put. It's not about getting it right or wrong or perfect, that's not what we're saying, but it's just like recognizing. Back to your analogy oh, how I said that. And it's so powerful, don't you think, when your spouse says that? Because, again, you know, we sometimes don't want to admit it, but when your spouse does something like that and you're sitting there going, man, I can't believe the way they just said that to me and you're sitting there going man, I can't believe the way they just said that to me and then they say, hey, if that came across the wrong way. And you, there's this wonderful, this kind of side.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you catch yourself and your spouse recognizes that, yeah, that that you did, and that this relationship Is worth so much. Yeah, and, and that's just it, guys. Relationship is worth so much and, and that's just it, guys. I mean marriage is just the greatest thing, and we just pray that you value each other. And so here in 2025, whether it's like like we're saying little little things some of you are like what are you talking about? Like what kind of little things. You know, can I listen better? Can I help my spouse more? Can I verbalize my gratitude for my spouse more?
Speaker 1:Can I verbalize my pain? Yeah, or when I'm frustrated, right. Can I verbalize my pain? Yeah, or when I'm frustrated, can I be?
Speaker 1:vulnerable Right and let down the walls and really be real and just talk and find feeling in that and be genuine about whatever you're feeling or whatever you're going through or the case may be, because that's, again, that's why there's so many wonderful reasons to be married, but it's that it is a relationship and it is. You know, again, the root word of a resolution is learn how to resolve things, and I think that's the underlining thing that we're always trying to encourage couples with Learn how to get to that place of resolve. Learn whatever you've got to push through to get to the other side, because the argument is unto something, the conversation is unto something, the change is unto something. It's trying to say this is worth it. I love you, I'm with you for the long haul. We're not always going to see eye to eye, but but I'm for you and you're for me, and we're going to keep moving forward together.
Speaker 1:So we just pray a blessing over every couple that's listening, or if you're an individual listening today, maybe you stumbled upon us I'm Rob, by the way, and that's Robin and you happen to be listening to us and you're looking for a relationship in 2025, and you're looking for somebody to say God, send that right person. I just pray that God directs your path and opens up the right door. And if you're a married couple, again we just speak a blessing over you, speak encouragement over you. You can make it. You've come too far to quit now, so stay in there, Keep loving each other. You can make it. You know you've come too far to quit now, so stay in there, keep loving each other, keep encouraging each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and here's to 2025.
Speaker 1:Yes, let's keep going and we will be back in a week or so. We're not going to go forever. So, with that, not a resolution, but you and I have talked that whatever we've got to do this is our commitment about doing the podcast is we want to stay consistent in our time and investing in the people that are listening and take the time to push that play button or download. So, yeah, that's one of our things we're going for in 2025. A full year, season three best yet ever.
Speaker 2:All right, then Awesome Okay guys, we'll see you soon. Thanks bye.
Speaker 1:Bye.
Speaker 3:You've been listening to Marriage and Us, with your hosts, Rob and Robin Adkins. Stay up to date by following them on Instagram at marriageandus underscore podcast and on Twitter at marriageandus. Also hit the follow button so you never miss an episode from your favorite couple.